"I am enjoying the book almost finish will call you to chat. Taking notes to the Keys in each chapter. Extremely deep and powerful. Will tell you the story of me asking my son in another room to give me the book off the kitchen table...just as I got to the chapter about give me the remote contro...ll I was laughing to myself WOW I am a slave master and I can do better!!! To be continued!!!"

- V. McClaney, NY

"I'm up to page 69 in the book. WOW! It's right on point and right on time. Thank God I met you on Friday."

- J. Modig, Staten Island, NY

"You can't beat it in them, you can't beat it outta them.  Communication is the basic foundation to every relation."

-  I. Beaumont, NY

"Are we going to enhance our children's spirits? Advance their minds and souls by not slapping and hitting them in the face.  Don't kill their spirits.  Lift them up with powerful words.  Place an instrument in their hands as a form of punishment and empower their well-being!"

- M. Holmes, NY

Sista, (Sister) I received your book today and your words are so amazing, I want to know if you have in anymore published books. I am a fan as of today!!!!!!!!I am honored to have been chosen to receive your book and I am certainly going to suggest your book. ♥ Love, Peace and Happiness.

- Duwan Baker Endicott, NY

"peace sis i just finished reading your book and it was off the chain :-D I whole heartedly agreed with alot of what you was droppin; your book is definitely a jewel a very spiritual organic & inspiring joint. Don't tell nobody i even shed a tear or two reading it. For real (but thats our secret) :-) so yeah sis, much love & respect imma pump/promote your joint to many. But yeah, again much respect & Thanks!"

B. D. - Face Book Friend

I am sooo glad that this book has come out. The book is great and this topic NEEDS to be brought up. I agree with Mojo, beatings are passed down from slavery and why do we talk about beating our children like a badge of honor. I hear it all the time and parents readily brag about it. Why have we accepted this standard in the black community? Are we not intelligent beings? Can't we initiate a new standard that reflects our elevated thought process? I feel spankings is the easy way out (of which I'm also guilty of). We can be more patient and more creative. I do think, as key, that men in the home make a big difference in shifting the way we disclipline our children. I noticed that my children's father never has to lay a hand on them for them to obey his directives, and me, well I can scream, beat and so on and still have minimal effects, ;-). Now regarding teaching fear when you beat your child. Our brain has a "fear" memory, that impacts our behavior in reference to what we should do or not do. That is in effect, the same mechanism in all animals. But we can minimalize the fear effect by utilizing different forms of discipline. Think about the messages our children receive. It must be very confusing and ironic messages that your protector is also causing you harm. There has to be a loss of trust, a loss of self-identity and an internal debasement that takes place. That loss of self-esteem is evident in the black community. We can teach lessons in different ways. The author is presenting a suggestion on disciplining without hitting. That is fine if you don't agree. I know many families that have adopted an anti-hitting philosophy and have come under scrutiny, even have been called Devils, yet their children are probably the most well mannered and respectful children I know and their self esteem is that they have internalized their divine-ness and their nobility and behave as true Kings and Queens! Another poster said that people who don't hit judge those who do. I find that to be quite the opposite. People that don't hit get accused of the most horrific things. It's funny, I'm a vegetarian, and I get accused of espousing the devil all the time. Don't you find this to be a bit psychotic?

QUEEN DAHIYYA - ESSENCE.COM
Read more: http://www.essence.com/lifestyle/balancing_act/balancing_act.php#ixzz0fNYZtVy9

Interesting post. I have a one year old daughter, and I'm often frustrated w/ her tantrums and bad behavior. I've resorted to tapping her hand a few times, and an occasional swat on the bottom to correct behavior. But now, she's started to hit me when she is upset, and I clearly see the pattern that I have started in my child. I am going to try and find alternatives to hitting, I don't like the bully approach of hitting. You gave me something to think about, thanks!

ANONYMOUS - ESSENCE.COM
Read more: http://www.essence.com/lifestyle/balancing_act/balancing_act.php#ixzz0fNZ4Rgb6

As Black people, we have to do better. There are still a LOT of us resorting to the beat down, whupping. I see it every day. I can't say I will never spank my two little ones but I've done OK up until now--they are 11-months and 4. Discipline takes time. I'm using the time out system and sometimes it doesn't work or just tries my patience and I want to hit but I don't want my son to grow up thinking violence is a solution to anything so I take a deep breath and go back at it. Setting boundaries, looking for non-spanking consequences. I don't think the author says she doesn't implement consequences just not ones that leave physical outcomes.

HEATHER H. - ESSENCE.COM
Read more: http://www.essence.com/lifestyle/balancing_act/balancing_act.php#ixzz0fNZQ0wdA

Good for her. When you beat children you change them and you instill unreasonable fear. There are other ways to discipline that are less damaging and less reactive.
Beating comes from slavery. Is that what we're proud of passing down?

MOJO - ESSENCE.COM
Read more: http://www.essence.com/lifestyle/balancing_act/balancing_act.php#ixzz0fNZlx7T1

The simple fact that this author plainly states is that there is no reason to have to spank if you have raised sensible children. I know a fantastic mother who does not spank her child and the child is mannerly and sweet everytime I see him. I think folks forget that children are people too and they want to feel a measure of respect and love from adults. It amazes me that in the african american community, people joyously speak about "beating" their children; then when news broke that Chris Brown had "beat" his then girlfriend Rihanna, it was called a tragedy! My question is, what is the difference? You can't hit someone because they won't act or react the way you want them too. There are other ways to get your point across. The reality is, it is never ok to hit. If calling it spanking makes you feel better, or quoting an over-used, misunderstood bible verse about "sparing the rod", makes parents feel better about hitting, I am saddened at the state of our world.

PEOPLENEVERCEASETOAMAZEME - ESSENCE.COM
Read more: http://www.essence.com/lifestyle/balancing_act/balancing_act.php?page=2#ixzz0fNaGQlVw

 

"Children live what they learn.  The fact is beating Black kids is a continuation of the beating of Black people from the days of the plantation.  Not only is it controlling in a wicked way, but it is none the less hateful.  How can you "beat" someone and love them at the same time?  It is no wonder that just as the slaves ran away from the masters that beat them, so our children are running away from us.  If they are still at home, they have run away spiritually, emotionally and socially... Can we afford that by continuing to "beat" them?" 

- Lloyd Martin, author, "Prostate Cancer and Me...Or You" - PA

"Hi Asadah I just finished Beat Black Kids and I loved it ! It really gives a different perspective on raising your kids and the ways of the beatings we took as children that only perpetuate more violence bec usually as parents we think bec our parents did it its ok but it really isn't. I don't actually beat my son and I'm glad! You are doing big things keep it up and I wish u much continued success!"

- Chante D Graham

"Beating kids makes kids more rebellious"

- Marsha, PA

"Teach them the way to go."

- Racquel, PA

"I feel that beating Black children is a serious issue.  It is great of you to share your opinion with the world!"

- Kaia Burke, 11 yrs. , PA

"I absolutely  agree that we need to find alternatives to spanking and beating our children.  I have been communicating with my daughter since childhood, and as a result she is a critical thinker, a comunicator and doesn't live in fear of me."

- Tarana Burke, PA

"Beating Kids is like having a Colonial Hangover!"

- Lloyd Martin, author, "Prostate Cancer and Me...Or You" - PA

"I personally hate when comedians and other people talk about hitting kids like it's funny.  It isn't.  When Black people do it it is acceptable. When white people do it, it is abuse. Hitting (If it is an option at all) should be a last resource.  If you have to hit a kid, it does not prove how bad the kid is, it just proves how bad the parent's disciplinary skills are.  And honestly, what does it prove?  How do you expect to tell a kid not to fight kids or behave violently when you are hitting the kid yourself?  It's hypocritical.

- Natasha Thompson, NJ - Winner of Book Raffle!

"We must practice an "ethic of loving." If we have been beaten by our elders, we must end the cycle of abuse TODAY. Hitting/beating = abuse - cycle of abuse is perpetuated by family, relatives and loved ones

- B. Perez. Bronx, NY

"There is a difference between beatings and discipline.  Children need love of course, but they also need structure, order, and routines. But you don't have to beat them with objects to get them to perform great things.

- Lisa Calicchia, author, "I want to Teach...Not Raise Your Kids"

 

"Loving Beat Black Kids Asadah! Kudos kid! You knocked it out the box!

What an amazing job you have done with Beat Black Kids! You have packed a lot of information into a little book!

The stories- excellent job with that! They are very powerful! am surprised at some of the things I am learning from these stories, because I wasn’t really expecting to learn anything new, given my extensive research into this issue, for my own personal reasons. But I have actually learned some new and very disturbing things from your stories. They are so powerful."

Amber Maiden, VA

 

"I have no doubt that you're a modern-day Harriet Tubman, here to emancipate those of us clinging to the ways of the plantation. Nearly every black comedian has a bit about how white parents will talk to their kids while a black child will be beat for the same offense; but no one points out that this habit of our culture hasn't netted positive results. We have merely repeated what we learned from our parents, who learned from their parents, and if we go back far enough, we're looking in the face of a slave master as the one showing us how to rear our children. We're the only people who adapted their enslavers' lifestyle and habits as our own, and even point to them as superior. We are living and breathing the psychological effects of slavery, generations later. It shows up in many ways, but until we start empowering our babies instead of instilling fear, nothing else will matter. As a mother, I thank and salute you."

Angel Rozetta - New York

 

"I've concluded that corporal punishment is NOT indigenous to African people. Personally, I think "beatings" were introduced to us through enslavement by Arabs and Europeans. I think corporal punishment is a lazy and cheap way of addressing behavorial issues with our children. How can we talk peace when we introduce violence to our children through physical force? In American society, even animals are treated better than our children.

Every generation must evolve beyond its predecessors. When people learned that pork was no good for us, we left it alone. Now, why do we continue to hold onto a habit rooted in slavery? The last thing we need to do is imitate our former colonial masters when addressing behavorial issues with children. In a civilized society, civilized methods should be used. Corporal punishment only breeds more violence. When you try to rule by fdear, you are ultimately "removed". The child you beat today can place you in a old folks home tomorrow and leave you to die."

Hotep. Minister 8-Ball

"I am a parent of two.  I have a son who is two years old and a daughter that is ten years old.  I have not given them spankings yet.  I really don’t plan to, because I don’t believe that when you spank a child that it brings any type of positive response after that.  I didn’t really get beatings.  I got one beating in my life and it didn’t solve anything.  So I just don’t believe that spanking a child is going to solve anything.  I believe you should talk to your child and that’s the way of getting through to them."

  Muriel Richardson – High School Step Instructor

"I don’t believe it’s necessary at all to confront them (children) with physical abuse to make them do what we think is right.  What I feel that you should do is take away the things that they love the most; whether it be the video games, whether it be they can’t go to the mall or they can’t talk on the phone.   Just take away the things they love the most.  I think that’s a great way to teach the kids that, you know, that you’re trying to teach them the right things.

As far as beating kids physically; that’s not the route.  That never changes a kid’s mind on something like that.  You make them rebel against you even more when you’re beating them.  That doesn’t show that you love them because you beat them. 

So just take away the things they like the most and you’ll get better results because it works on my kids.  When they act up, I don’t have to put my hands on them or anything like that.  I just say, “Well you know what, you don’t get to play your video games, put your cell phone away for a week; that gets better results.  That’s my opinion about beating Black kids."

Todd J. – CEO Children’s Entertainment Co., NY

"Loving the book, working with Malachi instead of smacking him. Whew its challenging..."

Joi D., New York

"I like the book because it doesn't pick sides and it really makes you think of how you can handle yourself and the next generation better."

Vanessa T. M, New York

I read your book Beat Black Kids over the weekend. Very thought provoking. It provided an opportunity to examine some of my thinking as well. I know lots of folks who could benefit from the read by putting the suggestions offered into practice.

Rev Sis Malika Lee Whitney, NY

 

My heart ached as my friend and Spiritual Daughter spoke of the opposition shown by some African American patrons during her book signing at Chicago’s 2009, annual African Festival.

“BEAT BLACK KIDS”, was written in New York, by Asadah Kirkland. In my opinion this book belongs to the African American community, (or to any culture that practices beating, whipping, spanking, shaking or any form of so-called discipline using physical abuse imposed upon helpless children) an opportunity to release some of the last vestiges of Willie Lynch slave mentality, imposed upon Blacks during slavery to keep them under control.

I am 83 years of age and was reared in the sick mentality of “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” This was taught from the pulpit in churches, and I got the hell beat out of me at the slightest provocation. There were times I was beaten for no reason other than because my great aunt that reared me thought I had done something wrong. No one considered it misuse in those days, so I brought the same sick mentality into my mothering experience and beat my two beautiful sons. Today I am filled with remorse for having done so. It did not help them, it only helped me to release my frustrations, for lack of parenting skills, on little defenseless children, causing them to rebel, develop low self esteem, lack of interest in academic pursuits and consequent unfulfilled lives.

Parents, your children are precious gifts from the Creator. Please allow Asadah and her book, “BEAT BLACK KIDS,” to influence you in caring for and developing your precious gifts into tomorrows wise leaders.

Ruth "Mama" Long, Chicago, IL

Hi Asadah I just finished Beat Black Kids and I loved it ! It really gives a different perspective on raising your kids and the ways of the beatings we took as children that only perpetuate more violence bec usually as parents we think bec our parents did it its ok but it really isn't. I don't actually beat my son and I'm glad! You are doing big things keep it up and I wish u much continued success!

Chant D. Graham, Queens, NY

I am reading and loving your book. As an educator I am so pleased and impressed by the wisdom of this book. Please keep up the great work that you are doing. In these current times we are going to need such insightful information. We will have to LOVE ourselves now more than ever. 

Denise Drew
 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this book.  FINALLY someone with enough courage to speak out and tell the TRUTH about what so many of us accept as normal.  I have had this argument for years with my sisters and brothers and I've been preaching to deaf ears.  I, like many of us, was a victim of this same mentality.  I haven't even read your book yet but I'm excited for you and want to help do whatever I can to help you spread this message. 
 
God bless you! 

Octavia Harrell